The #1 thing I wish everyone had on a journey of deep transformation

Real and lasting transformation is hard.  At times, really freakin' hard.  It asks us to let go of what we’ve known, and step into a new way of being.  And when we really want to go through the process of deep change, the prospect can be terrifying! 

Embarking on a deep journey of change is like standing on the edge of a canyon.  We see the place we want to get to is within sight… just over there!  But the journey to get to the other side feels daunting, because we’ll need to climb down into the valley… and then start the long walk back up.    

As a coach who works with people and organizations on the process of transformation, the #1 thing I wish people would do differently is to take this journey in a supportive community. 

When we’re taking this journey, our egos naturally freak out because we’re upsetting the status quo.   And our egos are finely honed / designed to make sure that we don’t rock the boat too much.   Our ego wants to make sure that we can continue to have its Big 3 needs met: security, approval and control.  

A big thing I see happen on this journey is that people step towards the change they want to make, but then quickly pendulum back to the old way because it feels too risky.   It can be frustrating, even deflating to get stuck in a pattern of oscillating back and forth like this.  

For example, when transitioning from a great job in tech to doing my own thing, I already felt tentative about making such a big shift. And when I spent time with business school friends who didn’t understand why I’d leave such a “sure” path for something so much less stable and less prestigious, it made me question my choices. I felt like a pinball clanging back and forth in the interior of my mind: “Who should I listen to? The seemingly sane opinions of all of the people I know; or the not yet fully formed voice that’s coming from within me and that I don’t yet trust?”

To continue to heed the call of our Soul that nudged us on this journey in the first place, it’s really helpful to change up the people we spend time with.  Usually the people we’ve known have a vested interest in us staying the same.  But when we’re around others who are asking similar questions, and better yet around people who have successfully gone through their own deep process of transformation, it helps our egos relax a bit because it sees that we’re not alone, and that we might even come out the other side of the journey transformed for the better.  

What happens when we change our ecosystem.JPG

It’s for this reason that we’ve designed the Hestia community to gather people committed to their own deep transformation (with the support of trusted guides) so that this journey is just that much more in reach.   

Melissa Lau